Heres the deal, I'm writing a spewch this year (for speech and dabate) about Post Secret. And i was hoping for your help. I want some of my friend's secrets. The thing is, i know I wouldn't just willing give up a secret if i didnt know who was going to know it. So, you have some options: under this post there will be a link that says "comments" click on it if you dont care who knows then give me your name. If you care then post it anonymously. If you dont want any one else but me to see it then at the bottom of your comment write "your eyes only" or something of that nature and I wont include it in any upcoming posts. To ensure that no one else will see your secrets, if you choose that route, all comments are moderated and will be approved by me before they appear on the blog.
I know this is alot to ask so ill offer one of mine.. Im dyslexic. Blogged not so secret number 1
I some times don’t believe that you love me.
ReplyDeleteLove is probably the thing that terrifies me the most in this world because of the vulnerability and unconditional aspects involved. Love is the most valued and most terrifying thing I have ever experienced.
ReplyDeleteListening.
ReplyDeleteEvery day I wake up wishing I was dead, wishing I could tell someone, but because of the fear of how "they" would react, I keep it to myself. Friends are useless when it comes to problems.
ReplyDeleteI'm living a lie, or am I...? I'm in that place between asleep and awake, dream and reality, and i can't even remember who i was or where i was going. The mask I wear is based on hazy memories, and the trouble is, even i have forgotten my real face.
ReplyDeleteI cut
ReplyDeleteI hate the fact of relgion. I understand the purpose and the reason, but hate the fact. If there is a God, He should love us for who we are. Not for following His word.
ReplyDeleteI watch you watch your friends and it makes me sick. They are nothing but wieghts on your shoulders. But no matter what anybody tells you, no matter how much I wish you didn't, you wont listen. You dont understand. You dont watch yourself being torn apart by their lame, attention seeking tantrums. They use it as a cruch, we all know it.How can you be so blind? How can you ignore us? What can help me stop your pain? Please just tell me...
ReplyDeleteI'm constantly expected to be perfect, the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect everything... I'm no where near perfect, why can't everyone realize that so I can stop trying to be what they want me to and let me be me... I just don't want to disappoint anyone, so until that day I will always pretend everything is perfect...
ReplyDeleteI want to be and am that person everybody leans on, but where's my person? How can I juggle my own life problems with those of the people around me? Maybe I just need new friends...but I know that wont do anything. I care about all of them too much. One more then all the others. Or at least that's what I say out loud
ReplyDeleteLove terrifies me. The thought of it, the feeling of it, or worse, the person I fall for. I want to be in love, I preach the wonders of it. But Im terrified to get that close to someone. I dont want to get rid of that freedom that being my own person gives me. But I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life either
ReplyDeleteYou joke that your a nut case, or imperfect. But to me, your everything I need and everything I want. I love you and you know who you are. I just hope you believe me as much as I believe you when you say those small, yet ever pwerful words to me
ReplyDeleteI'm terrifed of trees. Their accidents waiting to happen
ReplyDeleteI see everyone around me hugging and kissing and falling in love, and yet I'm seriously starting to believe that love just doesn't exist.
ReplyDeleteI look the ppl around me and I no I care. I no I love them. I sometimes wonder if they hear the love tho.
ReplyDeletemy family doesnt know me. we see each other and we smile and hug and talk like we truly missed each other but no one really does. im closer to my boyfriends family than i am to my own...and im completely okay with it.
ReplyDeleteI love being in love but the truth is it scares me a little. It scares me to think that you could love me. It scares me to think that you love all of me and not just the funny hard working person but the one who hurts and is imperfect. I dont know how you can, i guess that is why it scares me. I just wish you knew that i love you all of you, not just parts of you. I singed up for all of you when i told you i love you and that is how much of you i want to know.
ReplyDeleteI am extremely frustruated with my generation. My generation seems to be, in general, immature, overly emotional, quick to anger and easily offended. We've become a group of complainers that take too many things personally.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't like to see how our morals as a culture are declining and I'm terrified to think of how society will look to our children 20 years from now.
I do it for her. I don't want to, I hate to. But I know I have to. The most terrifying thought isn't faking who I am, or who my feelings are for. It's losing her. She holds me together, she makes me laugh when I want to cry, and she's more than perfect for me. I just wish I could tell her all this and have her believe me. All I want is her happiness, all i want is her love. I couldn't live with myself if she left, or if outside forces pushed us apart. That's my reasoning, that's my motive.I just wish it didn't have to be so hard...
ReplyDeleteI'm queer. (Not the same as being gay necessarily. Google it.)
ReplyDeleteI sometimes cry at night, when no one is around, so that no one knows how bad it is, all of it. I give it my all day in and day out, but it still hurts like you wouldn't believe.
ReplyDeleteMini m&ms frighten me, it's just not natural
ReplyDeleteI love her.
ReplyDeleteI have given all of myself away. I am left a broken and used shell of a person. Because of you, I trust no one, and I find it hard to feel love. Is love even real?
ReplyDeleteI wish someone understood me...understood this at times unbearable pain I have to deal with everyday of my life. Can't you see I'm dying inside? But no one cares...so I retreat deeper and deeper into the shadows, inside myself...I can't escape this pain.
ReplyDeleteI'm addicted.
ReplyDeleteAccording to the numbers I obsessively calculate, I'm getting about 1100 calories a day and I still feel guilty whenever I eat.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel so messed up that I don't feel like I deserve to live.
ReplyDeleteI worry Im not good enough no matter how hard I try to be good enough. I encourage the people around me and try to hold them up but don't want them to hold me up. How can I be strong enough to hold them up if I can't fight my own wars? When will I be strong enough? Will I ever be good enough?
ReplyDeleteThere are days where I want to completely disappear. Even though I am only 21 years old, I feel like I have the mentality of a 50 year old, and the everyday stresses of school and life in general are sometimes too much to bear. I want to become unattached-- to drift off into a state of nothingness where I can't feel anything. Not the throbbing headaches, or my strained muscles or my sore back. I fear if love will ever come back into my life again and if I'm worthy enough to have a significant other. I often fear that I will constantly sleep alone in my bed every night for the rest of my life. I fear that one day I will simply just give out.
ReplyDeleteI love her more and more everyday
ReplyDeletejeliousy. it sucks
ReplyDeleteIf it wasn't for the boyfriend that everyone I know hates, I would've killed myself this year. I still think about doing it anyway.
ReplyDelete~
I feel like I am wearing a fat suit. Everyday I am tortured by the need to crawl out of my own skin.
i'm highly impatient
ReplyDeleteTrust is scary and impossible.
ReplyDeletePeople tell me that I was abused. But I don't want to believe them. Because that means that I was harmed and didn't stop it and no one intervened for me. And that scares me more than experiencing the abuse.
ReplyDeleteI am really, really lazy
ReplyDeleteI don't trust myself sometimes... I am horrible at saying no to everyone and I can't help but worry one day it will hurt me... Someone told me the other day that someone might use me because they know I can't say no... The sad thing it had already happened, and I still can't say no, because it makes them happy...
ReplyDeleteI have A.D.D., A.D.H.D., paranoia, depression, clostrophobia, and P.T.S.D. i refuse to tell me parentsbecause i am terrified that they might make me take medicine that will change who i am. i LOVE who i am at this very moment more then i have ever before.
ReplyDeleteMy grandfater abused me when i was little. My parents think i was just a clumsy kid.
ReplyDeletei am racist against M&M's Skittles and Rainbow Goldfish, i eat them one colour at a time, Starting w/ brown and ending w/green :P
ReplyDeleteI've admired one of your friends from afar for quite some time, but am afraid to act upon it for fear that you will be protective of her and act against me.
ReplyDeleteThere's a line between attention and a problem. Learn it. You give people who actually suffer the problem, or have suffered it, a bad name.
ReplyDeletei'm afraid of cotton, it reminds me of my ancestors working in the fields
ReplyDeleteI hid who I am on purpose. I enjoy who I am, good or bad. I should change my own faults, and laugh at myself when I see fit to. I hid cause I dont want anybody to see who I really am. I dont want the pressure to change. I AM ME!
ReplyDeleteI love to listen to you laugh with your family. I love to see how carefree and accepting they are. The love I wish I could have with my family. Im also filled wth guilt and sorrow. Why dont you blame me? I know I blame myself, It's going to be my fault. How can you love me for that?
ReplyDeleteCan you even hear me?
ReplyDeleteI try to fill the gap left but there's nothing to fill it. She brings me happiness, but the warmth of my room is gone. He sits high above me on my shelf and all I want is for him to come back. I still hurt and cry every time the aniversery comes around but I cry alone now without him
ReplyDeletei'm afraid to be the "real" me, because i worry too much of what others might think of me
ReplyDeleteI finally have an idea of what maturity is!
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid to tell my friends I've been in a mental hospital because I'm afraid they'll see me differently- that they'll think I'm crazy.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish I could break free of our relationship because of her. I know my only link to her is you and I hate it. It'd be easier to break free then be blamed all the time...but I know that would hurt both of us. And I think I love you to much to leave now
ReplyDeletethe Bible is violent. Best reason to read it
ReplyDeleteI sleep next to my girlfriend. My other siblings aren’t aloud to be alone with their boy friend/girl friends, but no one ever thought I would be dating another girl. So I fall asleep some nights cuddled up to my girl friend, and my family doesn’t even know.
ReplyDeleteAt the begining of this year I was raped. He told me that I brought him to it by never letting him touch me and made me swore never to tell. I've only told my closest friends, the people who will hug me when I cry. I'm ashamed that I played into never confessing it but I wonder if it was my fault...that's why I won't let you touch me. Yeah we joke and plan but deep down I want to cry. I'm scared...I'm terrified. Not cause of you or it being new...it's cause I don't want to be hurt again...
ReplyDeleteIm' gay and proud of it
ReplyDeleteI'm in the middle of what you could call a love square. It sucks
ReplyDeleteGod isn't human. God is sin. Humans create our own evil. We feel what we do. Stop telling the generations that He is us. He is nothing like us. He never will be and never can be. Get over it. He may love you, but he doesn't care if your on your knees crying. He wont hug you and whisper its ok. That is what a HUMAN COMPANION is for!!
ReplyDeleteI'm increasingly frustruated that some guys seem to possess the ability to charm a girl no matter what, while I'm unable to do so. It leaves me feeling lonely
ReplyDeleteNobody knows how much I struggle between living and dying. If they knew, I'd probably be in the hospital....
ReplyDeleteIm insecure about our relationship even though I wouldn't change it for the world! I'm sure time will fix it but until then there's 17 years of your life I dont know. Trails and memories I must slowly learn to know you. But, what if what happened between you two happens to us? After all, a break up can be more devistating than both the people think it can be
ReplyDeleteWhat if I told you a story? What if I didn't care you were listening? Waste of breath or a lie of maddness?
ReplyDeleteIf living on Earth is Hell, and Earth is home then Where's God?
ReplyDeleteWhen I think to be a good friend, I often think of what you would do in certain situations. You are fiercly loyal, caring, and uplifting. I really appreciate how you are a good friend, not only to me, but to countless others as well
ReplyDeleteYou replaced me, and it hurts a little. But mabby he can be what i never could be. Mabby he can be what you've always needed unlike me.
ReplyDeleteI look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person I see. My memories are blur, it's like watching another person. I wonder if my friends know what a fake I am, if they realize it's not really me. I can from annoying, loud, and awkward to silent in minutes; I wish I knew what they really thought...not the good, but the bad, the truth. I can't see clearly and I wanna know. I'm not all good, and I think they know that. I don't think I'll really see the good again until I can look the bad in the eye.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry...I wish I could put into those words the sincerity, the pain, and the fear I feel when I write this. You see, this is something I need to say, something I'm not sure you'd understand why I need to say it. On the contrary, if I said it in person, you'd look at me and say "what the heck are you sorry for?". But you can't see my heart...I've kept myself from you, you and everyone else who tried to break through. How you tried,you never pushed to much, never over-stepped your boundaries, but still I kept my distance. I never said how much it meant that you tried-you were the first who did.For so long, I had wished for some one to come along and look me in the eye and see something was wrong, longed for someone to talk to...but after so long, I gave up and didn't want anyone to see. I guess I kept gently pushing you and everyone else away to see if you'd keep coming back...as wrong as that is, I hoped you would. Truth is that only works so long. I'm sorry about all the time I've wasted, time I'll never get back. And the clock keeps ticking, now there's only so much left, so much before we all part ways. I waited so long for a friend like you to come and I blew it. Things might have been different, but I'll never know. What I'm really sorry for is that you'll never know the real me. You've caught glimpes of her, I think you saw her when we first became friends, but now, no. I've destroyed so much of her I don't know if anything's left, if I'll ever find her again. I'm not the girl you see when I'm around you guys, she's just a shadow, a facade. I'm sorry because the real me had so much love to give, love that I can't find. I'm sorry...I wish I could change...
ReplyDeleteI would rather have you hurt me now then to ever have trust you and worry that you'll end up hurting me in the end...
ReplyDeleteYou know, every day before I go to bed I read my Bible. It's not because I'm a good person or to do it out of obligation. I do it because otherwise my mind wonders and I want to go back to cutting. And I can't do that because then everything I've worked for for so long would fall apart. And then losing everything this year, everything I loved would be for nothing...I have to believe it was for something.
ReplyDelete